This story originally appeared in Rewrite, a quarterly publication of Richard Hugo House in Seattle. Reprinted by permission.
 

Chasing Ronnie

 The Obsession that Launched a Book
            By Laura Lee Bennett

            How does a scholar of the 19th-century novel become a hard-core, scarf-tossing, Rolling Stones fan, hopping planes, trains and automobiles to see the Stones play live, in all manner of venues—all over

the world? The answer is simple enough: an obsession with a smile.

Former academic and current Hugo House member Wendy Ellison Mullen—known to her friends and family as “Wem”—has written a book that describes the path of her obsession with rocker and artist Ronnie Wood, guitarist for the Rolling Stones and formerly with Rod Stewart and the Faces, Jeff Beck, and an early British R&B band called “The Birds” (not the American “Byrds” with David Crosby).

The book, Ronnie Wood’s Smile: And Where It Led, starts out with Wem’s “innocently” attending a Rolling Stones concert in December 1994, at the Seattle Kingdome. She went with two of her high school students—none of her contemporaries would go along. She describes her first experience:

“The music drove the hour, rolled it up and flowed into the next with barely a pause and into the third—all the while I remained unaware of time. The power of the band was extraordinary. Why had I ever imagined that the Rolling Stones wouldn’t be able to play live? Foolish woman! Gone were all doubts about whether rock could be as compelling as classical music. That night…I rediscovered this music of the Rolling Stones. I’d lost it for a few years. But I was back. They were here. Life was now. The power. The rhythmic drive. The absolute necessity of moving with the music. And yes, the volume. The volume was definitely part of it.”


A Fateful Smile

            It was during this first concert that Wem received a fateful smile from Ronnie Wood. His effect on her was almost “Merlin-like”; her description of the moment—during a rendition of the song “It’s Only Rock’n’ Roll”—incorporates italicized song lyrics, a device she uses often throughout the book to capture and emphasize emotion:

 “…this guitarist was different.  He came out towards us as though with a purpose, scanning the audience before him. When he saw me, he stopped. His hands came off the guitar, and he grinned. He looked at me alone. Oh, what a beautiful smile! And as we stood there for a brief moment eye to eye, two look at two, a couple amidst 50,000, he spoke to me. “Love is so strong and you’re so sweet and someday soon we’re gonna meet.” His smile pierced through me and drew me in. We were together. Alone in a crowd. At the foot of 15 stories of stereo speakers pulsing with rhythm. “A glimpse of you was all it took/ A stranger’s glance it got me hooked.” Mick danced somewhere in the distance.”

 

Thus, with this song, “Love Is Strong,” begins her (re)discovery of the Stones’ music, their lengthy discography, their touring life, and, not least, her search for that smile. She describes the beginnings of the online search—back in the “Internet Dark Ages” for fan clubs, writing to her newfound brethren out in the ether—for a simple promo shot of Ronnie Wood, but how none were to be found. (No smiles, all grimaces.) Addressing her audience as “Dear Reader,” wem describes the painstaking process of writing to ask Wood for a photo of himself in which he is smiling. She had to have something to confirm and yet puncture her make-believe world.

She does eventually get a note, and a photo. It puts her into a literary swoon that lasts for some 300 pages. Wendy Mullen the writer becomes Wendy Mullen the character, part fiction, part commentator on popular culture—the classic double bind of the narrator “I” in fiction.

Through the Internet she finds friends who help her along the way, fellow fans who help her deliver the letter, and who later meet up with her in strange cities to attend concerts together. She becomes an expert on technical details, and regales the reader with descriptions of guitars and their sound. She befriends Ronnie’s head guitar technician, the late Chuch  Magee, and finally sound man Robbie McGrath, who invites her for a drink “after the [fateful] concert” in San Francisco.

Will she get her chance to meet the man with the smile, or will she realize the chase is “hopeless and invasive” and give it up?

In addition to the colorful descriptions of her mindset, Mullen writes about Ronnie’s solo playing and the Stones’ performances—a verbal tapestry of concert “footage”—with all the love and zeal of a fan, and all the love and poetry of a writer.

 

Cataloging Her Obsession

Mullen has a Ph.D in the 19th-century novel, and she draws on this knowledge as she catalogs her obsession, as in the following passage, where she describes her revelation, when she encounters a particularly pushy Mick Jagger fan who is oblivious to her effect on others:

“ Recognition ripped suddenly through me. Aghast, I saw myself in Mandy. I was looking in a mirror that showed me my worst side—and exaggerated it hideously. My own personal Picture of Dorian Gray. …

No, I tried to assure myself. I was not that bad. Not yet. I was more like Conrad’s Marlow, standing on the edge of an abyss looking down at the horror. Mandy was the secret sharer of my heart…my ship plunging towards the shallow, rocky shore.”

The German elegiac poet Rainier Maria Rilke once said (in translation) that “naming is the first step in taming.” We write about our passions, our demons, our obsessions, in order to conquer them—to expose them, so that they either flatten out in the world of daylight and air, or they become more sharply drawn, more lovely and robust. Either way our obsessions no longer rule us. We rule them.

If  Mullen has any advice for other writers, it would be this: Write for the sake of writing. Writing can give release. Writing this book was her way of “gently releasing” Ronnie Wood, and in so doing releasing herself from the grip of her obsession. The demon has been exposed.